Co-Founder and Lead Coach
Dane Stevens
Self-esteem grows from the discipline of consistent, unglamorous effort no one else sees.
Who I work with
Believe me, I was the first person to dismiss therapy. I come from a family that never talked about problems, and I mistook that avoidance for strength until it stopped working. If that sounds like your house too, skepticism is welcome here. Someone met my resistance with patience and honesty instead of a pitch, and I try to do the same for my clients.
I coach people through a transition they didn’t plan for or one they’ve been putting off, whether that’s a career change, the next chapter in recovery, a relationship that needs clearer communication, or a wellness routine that fell apart. Most of my clients arrive having tried nearly everything except asking for help, and I was the same way. This is honest work, and most people delay it for years. If you’re reading this, my guess is that the delaying is over. What would it look like to stop waiting for the perfect moment and start building?
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The common theme is “getting uncomfortable” and actively seeking out the hard thing, at a pace you can sustain. By definition, growth is impossible when you are coasting or complacent. Together we’ll break through your mental and physical barriers, one conversation and one rep at a time. Lasting progress is a slow process, brick by brick, but you’ll look back three months in and see that shavings make a pile.
How I coach
Coaching with me is non-clinical. It isn’t therapy, and it doesn’t diagnose or treat any mental health condition. It’s cash pay only and isn’t billed to insurance.
Wrestling taught me that the body usually has more gas in the tank than the brain is reporting, which is close to what David Goggins calls the “40 percent rule,” and that the real skill is staying functional while uncomfortable. A decade in tech sales ran the same drill without the wrestling mat, where years of hitting quota came down to discipline over motivation and the unglamorous thing again on Monday. Most fitness advice skips that, and it’s what decides whether a new habit becomes part of your routine or fades like a New Year’s resolution in February. Jocko Willink puts it in three words, “discipline equals freedom,” so we train both, the physical plan and the mental fortitude that drives it.
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On the health and performance side, coaching with me means exercise, nutrition, sleep, and recovery, backed by data and real examples. On the life coaching side, it means how your week is put together and the routines built around it, prioritizing your fitness and wellness goals. Caroline will tell you that her first exercise and nutrition plan, which we built together, came out of this exact process, and it worked because we built it around movement and food she actually enjoys.
How I came to this work
A while back, I realized I couldn’t think of many good things that had come into my life when I took the easiest available path. The hard choices tested me and introduced me to people I wouldn’t have met otherwise. Nvidia co-founder Jensen Huang put it this way: “Greatness comes from character, and character isn’t formed out of smart people, it’s formed out of people who suffered.” Taking the harder option became a personal rule. When the difficult path has a payoff on the other side, move toward it.
Through my own recovery, I learned the gap between confidence and self-esteem. Confidence leans on wins and outside approval. Self-esteem grows from the discipline of consistent, unglamorous effort no one else sees. A friend and colleague of mine had a blunter way of saying it: you build self-esteem by doing esteemable things, only he didn’t say “things.” For me, that also meant praising myself for the effort I put in, even on the days it didn’t show up on paper.
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My first real test of that idea came through wrestling. I went from high school All-American to a Division I roster at Lehigh University, a program ranked in the top ten in the country. I carried that same approach into my career. I spent a decade in Silicon Valley tech, mostly in sales, and joined one startup as employee number 13 and helped it grow from a $14 million Series A to a valuation of about $2 billion.
I’ve worked in behavioral health since 2023, overseeing partnerships and operations at several treatment centers. At one of those centers, I designed and ran a fitness-based recovery program where many clients who arrived doubting themselves started setting goals and blowing them out of the water. Running it showed me how much changes for someone once they start trusting their own effort, and Grava is how we bring that to more people.
Outside of work
I’m a fan of Type 2 fun, the kind that’s miserable while it’s happening and great to laugh about afterward. The Rim-to-Rim-to-Rim in the Grand Canyon, mountain biking, fourteeners, the Manitou Incline, and getting mildly lost in places with questionable cell service. Olive and Chili, our French bulldogs, come along when the terrain allows.
Credentials and recognition
- Qualified Behavioral Health Assistant (QBHA), Colorado
- BS in Business and Economics, Lehigh University
- Division I wrestling, Lehigh University, top-ten ranked program
- High school All-American, wrestling
- Built a fitness-based recovery program with more than 100 graduates
- Helped scale a Silicon Valley technology startup from a $14 million Series A to a valuation of about $2 billion
Email Dane about life coaching or health and performance coaching. He’ll reply within one business day.
Or call or text (720) 580-4958